As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
