God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i think my mom watched the whole time
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
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I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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