You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
