My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
