Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
