On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
