God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
