The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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