Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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