Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
