Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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