so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
