The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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