He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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