she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
