I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize