It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
