I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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