fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
