she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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