Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
