Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
