Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
organizing the empties. That sober.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
