i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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