I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
