You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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