I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
