Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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