I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
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Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
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I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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