i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
