I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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