If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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