I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just googled if crying burns calories
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
