It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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