just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
