He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
