It's Friday. Sex?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
