The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
