your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
