Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
