Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
