dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
