I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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