I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
