it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
