We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
