There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
