he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
