i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
