I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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