you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
