whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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