Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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