I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
