I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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