I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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