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I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
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