You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.