who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
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I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain