we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
