Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize