I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize