There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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