got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
