I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
